Love and Heartbreak

I know a cliche topic but I’m a cliche person and I would like to share my view on this subject.

What is love?

Love has many different definitions worldwide. To the caring and worried family member or friend it’s when they say “be careful” or “drive safe”. It’s when they ask “have you eaten?” Or “are you okay?”

To the girl that’s been hurt over and over again it’s her calling you goofy names because she is too scared to actually say how she feels. To the guy that doesn’t know how to love it’s him telling you that you deserve better than him even when he is your better.

Love is one of the most complicated things around if not the most complicated thing. It is so complicated it’s simple. Love comes from many different aspects of life. It comes from people all over.

Love is so much more than just 3 words. I’m not just talking about the love we give others I’m talking about the love we give ourselves. Love is finally realizing how beautiful you are (scars and all). Love is waking up each day fighting for what ever it is you want to fight for.

Love is walking away from the toxic people in your life because you deserve better. Love is what brings people together.

Love is the strong affection, warm attraction, and attraction based on sexual desire. -Merriam Thesaurus

What is heartbreak?

I’m sure everyone is aware of what heartbreak is. I mean it’s more than just a word to describe someone eating the food you been thinking about all day. It’s that feeling that aching feeling that makes you clench your chest and cry.

Not just any cry but ugly cry that’s right I’m talking true heartbreak. It comes in many different shapes and forms. It can come from losing a loved one, ending a long relationship, even losing a friend.

You ever fall in love and before you know it that guy or girl is moving on in life without you? Yeah we all been there it’s life and it sucks. Heartbreak is the worst thing ever but without it we wouldn’t grow as people.

Now before we jump the gun I’m not a fan of heartbreak and no I’m not supporting that loser who dumped you last week for someone else. Heartbreak although it literally feels like someone is breaking your heart in two like in the cartoons, it allows growth.

I say welcome heartbreak but don’t let it stay because after so long you become the grumpy person who can’t move on. Heartbreak sucks and I don’t wish it on anyone but it does happen to everyone.

My story/take on the topic:

I met a guy in middle school and instantly we became best friends. He was like my Superman if that makes sense. We grew together and experienced a lot of stuff together. He dated other people and so did I. I was with a person for three and a half years before I realized how toxic it was ( that’s a story I’ll be sharing next ). He supported me through that and helped me out. I helped him through break ups and so on and so forth. It was the end of freshman year when I realized that I started to fall for him and he moved away. So I picked myself back up and got over it. He came back to town a year later and all those feelings came rushing back. I fell all over again. I tried to keep things mutual because for all I knew he didn’t feel the same. One day we was talking and he told me he met a girl and they are still together to this day.

Am I happy for him? Of course. I’m glad he met the girl of his dreams and is happy. I wish them both the best.

Do I miss him? Yeah. We never dated, we never addressed our feelings. For all I know he never felt the same way I did he only wanted to be friends. But because I let my feelings get in the way I lost my best friend.

Do I count him as my first love? Yeah I do he was the first guy I fell for and even though we never dated he taught me a lot and helped me through so much. I know I probably sound crazy but what can I say?

So I get heartbreak from losing my first love and best friend. It’s painful and sucks but without it I wouldn’t be who I am today. I think love and heartbreak go hand in hand.

Without love heartbreak wouldn’t really have this definition it would just be sadness. Without heartbreak love would have no meaning. I think the two shapes each other. I say welcome both of them and grow with each new experience.

I don’t really know what the point of this post was but I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Thank you for reading!

That wraps us up for this topic. I hope you enjoyed and hopefully this helped in some way or form.

With much love and sunflower positivity,

-Cat

Before I go,

If you have a topic you would like me to write about or just want someone to talk to or anything in between feel free to contact me.

Email – cativey626@gmail.com

Twitter- onething1111

Instagram- Cat.ivey

Introverts Guide

Welcome to all people who want to learn a little more about introverts. Before we begin I would like to make it a point that being introverted isn’t a bad thing.

Introverts are seen to be amazing listeners, very observant, sensitive, more serious and thoughtful. Ideally they make good quality friends.

How to tell if you are introverted?

  1. You enjoy time alone. Not just the common ‘alone time’ but you prefer to be alone than around others.
  2. The inner monologue that we all have ( yes we all have it, nope you aren’t alone) is harder to shut off or quiet down.
  3. You feel lonelier in crowds or group setting even more so than when you are actually by yourself.
  4. You do your best thinking alone ( common, I know)
  5. You don’t have any desire at all to be the center of attention or to gain attention in any way.
  1. You feel like you may be faking it when you are social. ( on social media or in person)

Now these are just some of the signs that you may be introverted.

Before we go further I feel as if I should mention what exactly the definition of introversion is.

Introversion is a personality trait. It is not the same thing as social anxiety or shyness.

Introverts focus more on the way they feel rather than what’s going on externally to cause stimulation. Social anxiety and shyness is two totally different things. If you would like to learn more about either of the two try search engines or a dictionary to get the basic definition.

Now as introverts we recharge by spending time alone. We can lose energy by spending too much time around others or being in crowded areas. While extroverts are the complete the opposite by gaining energy from being around others.

If being an introverted bothers you or you want to stop being one entirely, there are steps you can take.

How to stop being introverted?

    Ideally stop spending so much time alone
    When speaking to others be louder. ( this is for those of us who get asked to speak up or why we are so quiet)
    Try to be more social
  • Social media is always a great place to start.
  • Reconnect with friends or make new friends. This way you can expand your social settings and social circle.

If you don’t mind being introverted and just need a way to cope with it a little better, I have some ideas for you.

How to deal with introversion-

  1. If you don’t already have one make an extroverted friend.
  2. Give yourself a set amount of time to be social and a set amount of time to yourself. This gives a balance of some sort.
  3. Learn more about the differences between introversion and social anxiety, shyness, and depression.
  4. Try out some different techniques to do to get over that overwhelming feeling you may experience with being introverted.

My story (briefly):

  • I would like to think that I’m introverted because growing up I didn’t get to be all that social with my older siblings. I felt by myself most of the time between the ages of 9-12. I know I wasn’t alone and to this day I’m still not alone but I can’t help but feel that I am. When I started middle school I closed myself off from my family and lost a lot of my social skills. I am now 18, and graduated still learning how to be a better person and deal with my introversion.
  • How I cope (briefly):

    I like to limit myself from spending so much time alone. I reconnected with old friends and try to make new ones. While relationships aren’t my cup of tea right now I’m sure one day I will get there. I’m a quiet person but instead of being quiet and alone in my room I go into the living room with my family. While they socialize and show how extroverted they are, I most of the time can be very quiet.

    Dealing with extroverted family members or friends:

    Being in a family that is full of people that is extroverted can be a little difficult. They don’t always understand that we need time to ourselves to recharge. Family members can often get introversion mixed up with a number of things. It’s not easy for myself to talk about my introversion or where it may or may not have came from. So teaching my family about it didn’t really come easy. I hope that if you decide to teach others about it, it comes easier for you.

    Try to go over what exactly you want your family or friends to understand ( personality or general information ). Take time to even set up a list of things for yourself so you don’t forget what to go over or explain. Take your time and do your very best not to get frustrated with the explaining process. Brush up on your very own knowledge of introversion and what it is about you personally. I suggest starting with close friends and family members to start off with. They seem to be more understanding and open to what you are trying to explain.

    Social Media-

    If you are dealing with introversion and don’t have anyone to talk to about it around you try social media. Social media is not only for friends and family it can also be a platform for you to meet people that experience the same things you do. Give it a try and have an open mind. You are not alone and can find plenty of people to speak to about things you go through.

    Thank you for reading!

    Well that wraps us up, I surely hope this helps in some way or form. Please stayed tune for more posts.

    With much love and Sunflower Positivity,

    – Cat